As a psychotherapist in private practice, I spend my days talking to people about the most intimate aspects of their lives. In our initial meeting. I will often ask new clients about their religious or spiritual lives. Many answer that they no longer participate in organized religion but do consider themselves spiritual and believe in “something greater.” Upon further exploration, I have found that some people have personal ways to honor their own spiritual life, while others feel lost and confused about how to incorporate spirituality into their lives in ways that feel congruent.
One of the ways that I see clients struggling is that they yearn for meaningful ways to mark important times in their lives, to feel a sense of community and support during transition, and to connect with the deeper meaning of an event, season, or experience. Historically, many religious communities provided this through ritual and gathering. And, for many, they still turn to their religious or spiritual community to meet these needs. However, for many, these needs go unmet.
In many of my groups, we have incorporated ritual as a way to mark transitions and honor the spirit of different seasons. Initially, we become aware of the faith identities in the room to be sure to honor all members. Then, for example, we may engage in a Winter Solstice ritual and identify what we’d like to “let go” of and what we would like to “cultivate” in our lives for the coming year. In another example, a member decided to create a tea ceremony to say goodbye to members of the group. On occasion, we have created an “on the spot” ritual to respond to a member’s need to grieve or celebrate. We also have small rituals that include a period of mindfulness at the beginning of each session or a particular way of ending the gathering.
Members have shared their appreciation for the opportunity to engage in these practices without having to subscribe to specific beliefs. These types of rituals provide members with a way to connect deeply in community to the “something greater” and experience their interconnectedness through our shared humanity. Additionally, members are able to acknowledge and honor their differences while connecting on themes that unite them.
In the best cases, rituals support a community in processing their experiences at a deeper level and provide greater integration and embodiment because the practice often goes beyond language to a “felt sense.” Rituals feed our primal need to be together in sacred ways that are healing and transformational for us all.
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